Thicker Than Water
by WeezelLee
Summary: Prequel to my other fic, Shades of Green. This story happens before the new TMNT movie. My version of the reasons behind why Leo had the leave, and why Don was placed as leader. I still suck at summaries.
1. Wrong End of the Bullet

_Okay...people are probbably getting really anoyed with me, right? I can hear them all saying, "MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND!" Okay okay, so I'm now working on three TMNT fanfics. (Well, 2.3. Reason is done. I just have to edit it.) Anway, this story has been sitting on my computer since I first watched the newest movie. It's also the prequel to my other TMNT fic Shades of Green. What can I say? I love writing! LOL! Maybe I should rethink majors, eh? Only if Psychology allows me to write freelance. Oh, well. Anyway, I'm such a geek, huh? LOL!_

_Disclaimer: Um...yeah. I don't own TMNT!_

* * *

Thicker Than Water

"Blessed is the servant who loves his brother as much when he is sick and useless as when he is well and an be of service to him. And blessed is he who loves his brother as well when he is afar off as when he is by his side, and who would say nothing behind his back he might not, in love, say before his face." -St Francis of Assisi

Chapter I: Wrong End of a Bullet

"Stop being such a hothead, Raph." Leo growled, "You almost got Donnie KILLED!"

"Way to blow things out of proportion again, Leo." Raph growled, "Don was just fine."

Huffing, Leo stated, "Yeah, thank _God_ Mickey was there to fix your mistake!"

The sewers echoed with their onslaught, and the two youngest exchanged worried glances. They were walking home from a simple Purple Dragon rumble at the docks. Successfully the brothers stopped another illegal shipment of guns and drugs. Now the police were there, and the brothers walked away from their victory.

Well...victory would be a relative term here.

Doing what he did best, Don worked on the ship's engine to create sabotage. Raph was ordered to watch Don's back while he worked, but the red banded brother was sucker punched by some punk. With his pride bruised and his rage ignited, Raph left Donnie to give chase to the punk about fifty feet away from the ship. Gunfire sparked around Donnie and the engine, and he feared the bullets would hit the gas tank.

Thankfully Mickey somersaulted to Donnie's aid. His swinging numb chucks resulted in the end of the danger. Still Raph followed his quarry well away from the heart of the battle, and Leo watched it all.

Now they were arguing, yet again. Don sighed in pain as he covered the wound only he and Mickey were aware of. If Leo knew Don was injured because of a Raph mistake, he would blow into full rage on Raph. No one wanted that.

Still, it was bleeding pretty badly even with the makeshift bandage Donnie created with a punk's discarded coat and a trash bag. Every other step, Mickey's eyes shifted to Don's arm then to his face. Don appreciated the concern, but if they could avoid further conflict; Donnie was more than tempted by the offer.

"Oesday urthay?" Mickey asked in whispered pig Latin. It was a funny hobbies of the younger brothers that both elders.

Don shock his head, "Otnay adbay."

Okay, Don rationalized, that was a lie. His arm was on fire, and he was doing his best not to hiss or whimper while breathing. It wasn't the first time receiving a bullet wound, nor would it be the last. Despite all this, it hurt like _hell_. He needed to get to the lair now.

"What's taking you guys so long?" Leo demanded impatiently a few yards ahead. Worriedly, Mickey looked to Don for permission to tell them.

Shaking his head, Don shouted back, "Sorry, Leo. We're coming!" Concentrate on breathing and get home. Don't think about that pain threataning to shred his arm apart.

Darn fuzzy vision, Don cursed to himself. Thankfully they were close to home, and the two passionate brothers were lost in another argument. Mickey was another story though. Any moment Mickey would have Don slung over his shoulder, yelling for Leo, or worse…saying those two words.

Donnie's hurt.

Finally! Home! Oh by the powers that be, Don was happy. Walking well on his own, Don said nothing and nearly ran to his lab. Mickey followed, and no one was the wiser.

"For the my smartest brother, Donnie." Mickey cursed as he ran to the first aid kid, "you can act so stupid sometimes."

"Known to happen." Don laughed between clenched teeth, but Mickey didn't laugh. Call the police! Don made a joke and Mickey was _not_ laughing; not even entertaining a smile.

Hissing, Don removed the tightly wound shirt and plastic, black sack from his fore arm, and Mickey almost dropped the white box. Blood everywhere, and that was no exaggeration. The wound was little- deep but little, but he was hit at least fifteen minutes ago.

"M-maybe Leo…" Mickey grew a few shades pale as he stammered.

Shaking his head, Don smiled, "Had worse. Let's not give Leo more reasons to yell tonight, right? I'll do the work, Mickey. You just need to be here to finish the work in case I pass out."

"How comforting." Mickey deadpanned. "I'll do it, Donnie. I've done this before remember. I'm just worried about you."

Don breathed in knowing there wasn't much time before his wooziness would overtake consciousness. Mickey opened the box and laid out the surgical instruments. Thanks to a month of hard study and a lot of real life situations, all brothers were skilled at first aid. They had to be.

After giving Donnie two suxamethonium chloride tablets, Mickey began to work. Washing his brother's arm with alcohol, Mickey watched Don buck in the chair and almost scream. Okay, new plan. Mickey took Donnie's pillow of the queen size bed and unsheathed it from the pillowcase. Using the light blue pillowcase, Mickey made Donnie a gag with two purposes.

Back to work. Mickey washed the scalpel and tweezers with the rubbing alcohol. After examining the wound, Mickey breathed. Not too deep that they had to cut anymore. Don was now loosing conciseness.

"Sorry…Mike…" Don whispered as his head nearly snapped back. Checking the pulse below the thumb, Mickey breathed again. So far so good.

Picking the tweezers, Mickey used his fingers to open the wound a little more. Blood spurted from the wound and dripped to the forming pool below.

"One…two…three…" Mickey psychological prepared for it, and punched the tweezers into the dark crimson whole. There was a definite clank where metal hit the bullet, and Mickey was thankful not to have to search. He had to search for the bullet last week in Raph's leg, and it took fifteen minutes and fifteen tries.

Easily, too easily, Mickey plucked the .44 Magnum bullet from his brother's flesh. After checking Donnie's vitals again, Mickey quickly wrapped the arm tightly in white bandages.

"Not really camouflage, Donnie-boy." Mickey sighed, "How are you going to hide this from the others? You can really say you slipped and fell on a stake knife, can you?" Looking at Donnie's still closed eyes, Mickey laughed, "What? Giving me the silent treatment? How cruel!"

After cleaning up the blood and instruments, Mickey had to sling Don from the chair softly to the bed. Yawning, Mickey noted he was not only tired but heavily exhausted.

"What I wouldn't do for you guys." Mickey muttered sitting on the edge of the bed. Thankfully the whole surgery lasted only twenty undisturbed minutes. That was odd, Mickey noted. Where were the others?

As if waiting for that thought to cross Mickey's mind, Raph opened the door, and slammed it behind him. Glaring up at him, Mickey said, "Simply shutting the door is just as effected, Raphie."

"Drop it, Mickey. Fearless is talking to Splinter right now." Raph glared at the door as if it was said fearless leader. Then looking down at the bed. "What's with Donnie?"

"Sorry, the psychologist is out. Would you like to leave a message?" Mickey laughed.

Raph's eyes opened just a little more seeing the bandage hand resting on the blue blanket tucked around Don's chest.

"What happened?" Raph demanded the younger.

Mickey looked down at Donnie, and answered, "You owe Don a beer or at least ten bucks, dude. He just took a bullet for you, and I mean that literally."

"Whoa! Don got SHOT!"

"Yes!" Mickey barked back. "Yelling like that will ruin the great professor's plan."

"Plan?"

Rolling his eyes, Mickey sighed, "Don got shot tonight while sabotaging the ship's engine. This happened after you LEFT HIM! While Leo was chewing you out, Don was hiding his wound so you wouldn't be in more trouble than you already are. I had to play doctor and gag him so he wouldn't scream and give it all away."

Raph stood there blinking, and a guilty growl erupted from his throat. He looked directly at Donnie's sleeping face. "Idiot."

"Oh Raphael, you have such an eloquent way of showing your appreciation. Tell me, is there anything else you'll need?" Holding up the discarded, bloody bullet, Mickey asked sarcastically. "Should I make this into a necklace?"

Ignoring Mickey, Raph asked. "How is he suppose to hide that?" He pointed to the injured arm in question.

"Don't know." Mickey said, "He didn't give a detailed, step-by-step plan while he was bleeding to death. How rude, huh?"

"I screwed up…didn't I?" Raph muttered. Finally he looked as guilty as the situation called for.

Mickey sighed. Raph would either angrily deny accusations or accept his guilt to high levals of self-loathing. There was no midpoint. Leaning a little, Mickey pulled Raph's arm. "Why don't you tell him yourself."

Raph sat down in front of Mickey on the edge of the bed. "Why, Mike, Donnie's knocked out with SD, right?"

Nodding, Mickey rested his head on Raph's shoulder. "Yeah, but remember that time when Leo was beat-up by the Shredder and we didn't know if he would make it. We took turns talking to him, right?"

Raph laughed- genuine and real. "You oddball."

Before Raph could speak one word to his unconscious brother, Leo opened the lab door completing the turtle clan. Raph and Leo glared at each other, and the Hallmark moment went down the sewer.

Leo's glare left Raph and loomed over Donnie's arm. Oh…shell, Mickey cursed.

"What happened?" Leo demanded. His voice held that leadership tone too well that Mickey wondered if he should salute him like a Nazi before answering. Well, what could he say. Um…Donnie forgot he had a bullet lodged in his arm until he was continently inside the lab? Strange, huh?

"Donnie got shot." Raph stood and answered firmly, and Mickey jumped. Raph couldn't have put it more bluntly, and Leo's eyes narrowed. Like a timber box, Donnie's plan went to the flames.

Mickey stood, "Before you guys go into another shouting match, why don't you do it away from the injured, okay? Don wasn't going to show his arm because he knew you guys would just fight more. He was trying to prevent more fighting." Mickey was surprised at how calm he was acting between his two eldest brothers. There would be need for a victory dance later.

"Master Splinter needs to know." Leo said slowly, "I'm not going to yell at Raph anymore, Mickey." Point for Leo. "but" he looked at Raph, "this is all your fault." Foul on Leo.

Raph grimly growled, "I know that, Leo. How many times do I have to apologize."

"Until you learn your lesson."

"And what lesson would that be again, Fearless? You've only told me half a million times by now!"

"Obviously, it's not getting through that thick skull of yours!"

"I'll show who has a thick skull!"

Mickey sighed, sitting next to the unconscious turtle who hid a bullet to prevent what was happening.

"Next time, Donnie." Mickey sighed, "Don't get accidently caught on the wrong side of the bullet, okay?"

* * *

_Fun times with family, huh? This both makes me miss my older siblings and wanting to rat on them. LOL! Poor Don, he was just trying to help. Anyway, thanks for reading!_

_-Weezellee_


	2. How to Say Good Bye

_Okay, big update coming!! I'm just going to update on Thicker Than Water and Shades of Green today to the point of where I'm typing. Scary, huh? LOL! Anyway, thank you all for reading. Can you tell I'm a bit of a quote geek!!_

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Chapter II: How to Say Goodbye

"Don't be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends." -Richard Bach 

Don woke up with a hangover the size of the Empire State Building and twice as pointy. It was dark, but Don woke with a realization. Something was wrong. It was way to quiet with a haunting feeling of bad news, and was…was that Mickey crying?

"M-mikey? Leo? Raph?" Don breathed feeling like floating, and his mouth was so dry. He had another nightmare from the time he visited the future. Each brother died before his eyes, and no matter how hard, how loud, he screamed their names they didn't come back.

Was the dream real? Oh God!

"Don, calm down. We're here." Leo's voice broke through the darkness, and Don took a breath. Everything was so fuzzy and unreal like watching the world through a blizzard. Leo took Don's hand gently.

"My son." Master Splinter's furry hand took the other hand. "You are home safe with your family. For three days you have battled with a sever fever, but it seems to have broken. We have waited long for your to awake. Leonardo wishes to tell you something."

In the distance, perhaps another room, were the voices of Don's other brothers. Mickey was obviously upset, and Raph was doing his best to console him. The conversation was lost in the mutter and fuzz.

Vision began to clear as Don could actually see the faces of Splinter and Leo in the dimness of his room. The light came from Mickey's nightlight, but Don was in his lab/bedroom.

Turning to his brother, Don was surprised to see tears? Leo was crying? But…Leo never cries; only when things are bad ,and there's no good news in that. Yet his eyes were set firm despite those tears. Splinter steeped back giving Leo and Don privacy.

Summing up strength, Leo whispered, "Donnie…I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" Donnie asked; his voice sounding so young due to the drugs. So, this is what seemed wrong. This wasn't right. "Where are you going, Leo?"

Leo breathed, "Away. Master Splinter is sending me on a training mission to South America."

"Yeah" Donnie laughed, "And Raph is going to join the ballet and Mickey's burned all his comic books."

Leo's eyes grew dark, "I'm serious, Donatello."

No. Don's mind instantly denied it. This types of things just...didn't happen. His brothers didn't leave; they were going to grow old and die together. It felt like Leo was dying and leaving for an untouchable hospital. It just didn't happen. It couldn't.

His voice was oddly strong as he asked, "Why?"

"It's…complicated." Leo's eyes turned away.

Don's life biography was titled Complicated! He thought in complicated terms and theories that the normal American wouldn't touch. Leo couldn't just sweep this under that term, and Don wouldn't allow that.

Trying to sit up, Don was stopped by Leo's firm hands. "Don, you're not well enough to stand on your own."

"To hell with my condition." Don growled and hissed. Don cursing had amazing effects on his brothers, and Leo backed away. Leaning against the wall, Don glared. "Now, explain it to me, Leo. Why are you leaving for South Africa?"

Leo opened his mouth as if to say something. Then stopped for a reason or another. "I'm…just leaving Donnie. I'll be back someday; when Splinter thinks I'm ready."

The purple clad brother didn't want to hear that. If Leo was leaving he wanted a timeline. Hell, he didn't want Leo to leave to begin with.

Then a thought. Looking down at his own bandaged arm, Donnie grimiest. "It wasn't because of…"

But Leo wouldn't let Don finish. "No!" He said firmly, taking the hand in question. "No, Don. It's…it's a lot of things."

"Then why can't you tell me?" He demanded.

"Because that would take a lifetime." Leo answered sadly.

"Okay…when?"

"Tonight. I wanted to wait for you to wake up…to say goodbye."

The gloom was pressing on Don's chest, or was that just the remnants of the fever. Smiling, Don placed his hand on Leo's shoulder. "It's not like it's forever, right?"

"Right." Leo smiled a small smile that left too much room for doubt. "I'm sorry, Donnie."

Puzzled, Don asked, "For what?" Then he saw Leo's eyes avoiding his, and that frown of guilt appeared. "Leo, it wasn't your fault. None of this is, okay?"

"Promise me you'll watch over the others." Leo looked so sadly desperate.

"Of coarse I will." The atmosphere there was not improving, so Don silently accepted this. "We'll be fine, Leo, so don't worry." The tightness in Donnie's lungs erupted into a coughing fit that robbed him of speech. Leaning forward, Don rested against Leo's chest until his body relaxed from the convolutions. When he stopped coughing however, Don was hearing chocked sobs while strong arms kept him against a strong plastron.

His big brother, the leader of them all, was leaving.

"I promise." Don whispered, wrapping his own arms around Leo's shell. "But you have to promise not to forget about us."

"I promise."

Leo left his ill brother with a head low. Splinter followed after him, and said something about Donatello's condition improving so there was no need to worry, my son. Mickey and Raph sat on the sofa. The tears were gone from the youngest eyes, but when both looked up to see Leo; they threatened to come again.

It was time to say goodbye.

Raph and Mickey stood knowing this had to happen, but the reasons seemed so stupid to Raph. Splinter explained it to him at Donnie's beside last night, and Raph took it in. Taking in information doesn't mean you have to accept the reasons.

Mickey's farewell embrace seemed to last the longest. This would be the first time they would separated from each other because their father ordered it.

This ordeal would make Leo a better leader. He would find himself somewhere in the depths of the Amazon, and they would all be a better team, a better band of brothers. Then why, Raph wondered as he watched Leo kiss Mickey's forehead, did it seem that this was an idea to break up the team for good.

"Well…" Leo released Mickey, turning to Raph. Both were unsure of how to do this; how do you say goodbye?

Could they stop this, Raph wondered. Leo was a simply following another Splinter's command without thinking, but it seemed deeper than that.

"You're the leader now." Leo nodded at this.

Raph answered this with a simple, "Take care of yourself, brother, okay?"

"Right. Take care of the others for me."

"I will."

With that, Leo was gone.

* * *

_Bye, Leo! goofy wave Send us postcards! Okay, that was dorky, I know. LOL! Anyway, thanks for reading. I should inform you that reading this, and then Shades of Green will make the later more...understandable. Tee-hee!_

_-Weezellee_


	3. Under New Mismanagement

_Disclaimer: NO, I don't own TMNT or...ice cream. sniff_

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Chapter III: Under New Mismanagement

New York, home, disappeared behind him, and he looked back. In the cargo plane, Leo turned from the small window as the sun retreated to the West. Piles of boxes and suitcases gave Leo little free room, so he sat silently on a crate away from the engine's roar.

He had company, thankfully. His human friend smiled at him as she left the pilot. Shutting the pilot's door, she walked back to the cargo hold. April O'Neil was an old friend to Leo's family, and she not only offered to take Leo to South America on her next archeological dig, she also offered to keep and eye on him while there.

The tall redhead sat across from her friend, and smiled. "We'll be landing at Brasília by tomorrow mourning."

"Thanks, April. We…I really appreciate it." Leo said with a smile, but his face was far from anything joyful.

"So" April searched for a topic of conversation, "Do you know where you're going?"

Sighing, he answered, "Not really." Leo reached for his duffle bag and zipped it open. Reaching in, Leo pulled out a tattered, hand drawn map that was surprisingly accurate and detailed. "Master Splinter gave me this map that Master Yoshi drew while they both were hiding from the Shredder. He kept talking about a small, hospitable village in the jungle surrounded by ruins. There's a temple near the mountain Pico da Neblina."

"That's a pretty far trip from Brasília." April said solemnly. "Hay, I'll take you to that village at the summit."

"April, I can't ask you that. You've already done so much already."

Waving her hand, she smirked, "It's to trouble at all, Leo. Actually I've always wanted to see those ruins."

"What about your proprietor, Max Winters?"

"He hasn't given me exact locations of what he's looking for." April said, "He's only given be vague descriptions of stone generals. He told me he's a collector of such items, and has even said that there's five in the series. Already he's found one. He even says that they're scattered around South and Central America. It wouldn't hurt to start searching somewhere."

Leo nodded, "I wouldn't mind the company for a while. I hope it doesn't take long to find whatever it is I'm suppose to learn."

"Did Splinter give you a time limit?"

"No, he didn't. He actually told me to take my time; as long as I needed. Although I'm sure he doesn't want me home within a few months. He made…that clear."

This was a wise time to change the subject, April noted. "So…do you know what you've suppose to look for?"

"No." Leo laughed dryly. "I don't. He says this is more like a spiritual journey of sorts. So, when are you going back to New York?"

April answered, "Three weeks. Hopefully Casey cleans up the apparent by then."

Nodding, Leo asked, "So, how is your…new relationship?"

"Good." April asked with no real enthusiasm. "I'm adjusting to him, and he's just being Casey."

"You shouldn't change for the one's you love." Leo said firmly.

April looked at Leo and said, "Forgive my bluntness, Leo, but isn't that exactly what you're doing?"

* * *

"WHAT?" Don couldn't stop his semi-yelled shock. He knelt there, in front of his father when Splinter delivered Don's new role in the family.

Leader.

"You will lead your brothers in Leonardo's absence." Splinter repeated as his stern gaze looked down at his son.

Don finally found his voice, even if it was less than strong. "Father, forgive me, but I…" Now, he lost his voice again. Ah, there it was! "But…Raphael is a better leader than me, and he's older than me."

"He will understand." Splinter smiled, and Don wished for all jet fuel at NASA to believe Splinter. Gnawing on his bottom lip, Don knew otherwise. Raph would be furious, Don feared.

"Why?" Or better question would be; why not Raph?

"Each of us have a leadership ability. Raph has lead this team during Leonardo's absence before. I only wish to test you own ability to lead."

Don muttered in his brain, _"What ability? I'm the 'smart one' 'the psychologist.' I don't lead. I follow quietly until someone ask for my opinion on something. I'm normally the one being saved instead of doing the saving. I can't do this, Master. I…can't lead. I'm not Leo."_

Instead of saying these things, Don swallowed and breathed. "Yes…father."

* * *

"What do you think is taking so long?" Mickey yawned from the sofa.

Raph shrugged, "Don't know. But something doesn't feel right."

Okay, so something obviously didn't feel right, but what was it, Raph wondered. He was pacing from random place to another random place in the living room. Mickey sat on the sofa, playing Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War on the Play Station 2 that Don just re-refixed that mourning. Mickey wasn't much 'into' combat, aerial simulated games, but Raph was.

"Man! No matter how many times I play this, Chopper still dies?" Mickey groaned as he watched the depressing video clip of the main character's right-winged man crash into the soccer field.

Raph answered, "That's life, I guess."

"Life would have a way for me to save Chopper." Mickey growled at the screen.

"No it wouldn't. You can restart the game and try, but you life doesn't have a restart button."

Mickey blinked and turned his head to his brother. "Whoa, that's deep, Raphie. Taking philosophy lessons from Leo, or something?"

Raph sighed hearing Leo's name. It was only a week since their Fearless Leader left, and things were still…awkward at best. It just wasn't the same. The lair was empty and depressing, and Splinter had ordered them to limit their surface visits to April and Casey's apartment. April was still with Leo somewhere South, and when Casey wasn't working; he slept in on the sofa like a bum.

Raph's energy had no outlet, and he was going stir-crazy! Something had to happen before Raph resorted to reading. Raph shuddered at the thought.

Just at that moment, Splinter's door slid, and in walked a very odd looking Donatello followed by his master. It wasn't depressed sadness in Don's eyes; only a misplaced worry. Mickey and Raph instantly saw Don's uneasiness.

"Raphael, Michelangelo. Donatello has something to tell you."

"Oh crud." Raph panicked. Was Splinter sending another brother on a personal vacation? First Leo, now Donnie?!

Mickey and Raph waited patiently for Don to tell them. There seemed to be a wave of hesitation and uneasiness in Don's chi. His eyes never meet his brothers'. It was like Don was having a staring contest with the floor and was loosing.

"Uh…M-master Splinter has…a-asked me to be leader." Donnie stuttered.

Raph blinked. Mickey blinked. The floor 'blinked.' Silence filled the lair to uncomfortable magnitude, and the atmosphere dared anyone to say anything. All that played in the background was the high-tensed music from Mickey's game.

Raph huffed at this before turning and walking to the exit. He muttered something about getting fresh air, and Don sighed.

No one stopped him. His brothers wouldn't dare, and Master Splinter knowingly let him. Saying nothing, the ninja master turned, walked into his room, and closed the door. This left Mickey and Donnie.

Time to be supportive, Mickey grimiest to himself. "Wow, dude. That's…"

He was interrupted with Don's attack on the wall, with his injured arm. Mickey grimiest as Don painfully hissed and cradled the still bandaged arm.

Sighing, Mickey jumped over the sofa, and came to Don's side. "Let me see." Don showed his arm, and just like Mickey guessed, Don's theatrical punch of anger had reopened the wound. Blood seeped through the bandage.

"Sorry." Don muttered.

Mickey grinned, "Hey, it's okay! Okay, so it's not okay, but you know what I mean."

Don laughed in a not-so-sane way. "Yeah, I know."

"Well…" Mickey gave a forceful cough. "How do you feel, and I don't mean the arm."

Don sighed, "How am I suppose to feel is the question."

"Right." Mickey grimiest again, "Hay, look at it this way, Don. It's not a permanent! And we'll both support you. Raph just needed to get some air. You know him, give him a few minutes and he'll calm down."

Don laughed, "When did you become so logical?"

"It's a gift. Now, let's watch a movie. Nothing is more logical than some much needed vegetable time."

* * *

Sock wouldn't even being to describe his feelings. Outrage? That was for another time. He just didn't want to think about anything. Only about the fresh air in his lungs, and the feeling of running from rooftop to rooftop.

In the lair, there wasn't room to feel so free and open. There just walls, ceiling, floor, and darkness.

After a few minutes of just aimlessly running, Raph stopped for a breather. Panting, Raph leaned against a brick wall. Now was the time to think, but where to begin?

Looking up to the smog covered sky, Raph watched a helicopter fly by. Light from the city illuminated the clouds above; crating a false sense of light from the sky. It was just a reflection.

That's what Raph felt like his life was. A reflection of what it use to be. A sad pathetic reflection at that. Everyone seemed to be adjusting well to Leo's departure but Raph. Everyone seemed to be okay with Don's new position but Raph. Everyone was happy with life but Raph.

That's what made Raph mad. Not that Don was leader now; there would be time to feel something about that later. Don had his lab. Mickey had his comics and bad jokes. Master Splinter had his peace of mind. Raph was left out in the open without a direction or distraction.

A presents Raph felt there on the rooftop. Snapping from his angst thoughts, Raph stood with sias drawn. However, the chi of this person was friendly, even familiar.

"I'm not in the mood, Mickey." Raph muttered as he replaced his weapons in his belt.

Casey, not Mickey, steeped out of the shadows with a bat in hand. "Raph? What the hell are you doing, man! You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Casey? What are you doing here?" Raph asked.

"Uh…because it's my roof." The tall human relaxed his grip on the wooden baseball bat. Dressed in grungy pajamas, Casey looked like he just woke up with scraggily hair in every witch way.

Raph laughed, "Whoa, man. Wake up on the wrong end of the sofa?"

"Very funny." Casey yawned. "Now, what's up, Raph?"

Raph sighed, turning from Casey. "Nothing. Sorry for bothering you."

"Whoa, man! Don't leave! I ain't mad; just surprised. I haven't seen you in a week or so."

Raph turned, "Things are…complicated at home right now."

"Complicated." Casey scoffed, "That's your family new buzz word or something? Dude, who's life isn't complicated?"

"Good point." Raph relaxed, "Maybe I should say…more complicated. Master Splinter just made Don leader."

"Leader? Over you, but…ain't you…"

"Older." Raph finished for him, "Stronger. Leader material. Take your pick."

"Did Don accept it?"

"Didn't have a choice, I guess. He's like Leo that way. Always obeying father to the letter." Raph scoffed, "And they say he's the smart one."

"Ain't you being hard on the guy?" Casey asked, "Did you ask him if he wanted to the position as leader."

"No." Raph answered truthfully, "I walked away when he told us. I'm not…mad or anything. Just confused. Why him of all people?"

"Hay, that's harsh."

"Don has told everyone of us that he isn't leadership material." Raph said, "He's happy being the quiet geek. Don's got some awesome attributes that I wish Leo could learn, like listening and understanding. But Don hesitates and hates making spontaneous choices."

"Are you jealous?"

Raph stopped at this. Sure the signs and implications where there, but Raph hadn't answered that question yet. With Don or Leo. Wasn't that obvious by now. What rubbed against Raph's shell is now his _younger_ brother was his leader.

"Yeah, I am."

* * *

_Oh! Raph's jealous! That's...news? LOL! JK Raphie fans! I love Raph. Actually, out of all of them; I can relate to Raph the most. Being the youngest, I felt overlooked by my parents, and my sister and brother seemed to be too perfect for their own good. We often fought about me being irresponible, the black sheep of the family. I hated them because I thought my parents loved them more than me. Poor Raphie! I LOVE YOU, MAN!_

_Thanks for reading!_

_-Weezellee_


	4. Chrushing

_Howdy, ya'll! What's up? I'm going to tell you a story I just posted to my other fanfic, Reason Chater 6._

_Funny story time! Okay, so this is a Weezellee-being-an-idiot-funny story time. Anyway, Do we all know how to spell Mikey? Well obviously not all of us, right? LOL! points sheeplishly to self I didn't even know I was calling Mikey Mickey until my friend pointed it out. I was puzzeled until he sang the Mickey Mouse Club theme song!! Man, I was blushing as red as a strawberry. Now I'm getting some reviews pointed out my stupid mistake! I would like to appologize to all my readers, the TMNT universe, Mickey Mouse, and Mikey! I'm an idiot! LOL!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Even spelling rights to names of the TMNT. MICKEY MOUSE! DONALD DUCK!_

* * *

Chapter IV: Crushing

"One can pass on responsibility, but not the discretion that goes with it." -Benvenuto Cellini

They waited until night before leaving the dirty airport. It was warmer here, Leo noted. The humidity was stifling, and it was only night. Being cold-blooded, Leo didn't mind too much.

"I've got us a hotel room." April mentioned in their rental car. It was late, and they drove in a foreign city full of shady faces and shady restaurants. Tourist outlets spotted the streets, but there were all closed. Portuguese and Spanish signs lined the walls with a few English directions. Street lamps were lighting the urban part of Brasília, and they arrived at the iron-barred window hotel. Already Leo could smell of fresh aroma of the jungle through the human sent of city.

April parked close to the hotel. There was no fear in her mind of being mugged; not with a ninja turtle as her escort. But, she was an American girl walking into an unknown hotel in an unknown country. Leo couldn't just waltz into the lobby and ask for a rollaway bed, could he?

Watching April from a safe distance, Leo waited for the lobby door to close behind her. Now that she was safe, Leo snuck out of the car, and hid well in the shadows of the hotel's parking lot.

The city had metropolitan features that New York City shared: densely populated areas, skyscrapers, street lamps, sewer system. However; the whole disposition and demography was different. The culture, the people, even the air was different. To Leo, this was just another city on the map. It wasn't home."

"Homesick already?" Leo asked himself. Okay, so it was pathetic, but home was always NYC. They had traveled to universes, different time periods, destinations, dimensions, and even outer space, but he could subconsciously feel secure that he could go home. Now he understood, almost, what a college freshman felt like. Bottom line was that Leo left on his own to gain some revelation about his life.

Looking to the sky, Leo commented on how unclouded and fresh it was. He could even see stars, vaguely, but it was a better view than NYC. He remembered Master Splinter commenting once that no matter where each member of the family was; they all could look up at the same sky and feel connected.

Leaning against April's Geo, Leo pressed his palm against the warm asphalt. Sighing, he leaned his head against the warm car's metal door and just stared at that sky.

* * *

So, their first patrol since Leo left could have gone better. Okay, Don rationalized, a lot better. They've had worse patrols before, but…not many. Don's first patrol as leader would be listed with the Bottom Three Worse Patrols List.

It all started with Splinter lifting the rules about limited surface visits. He even suggested that the remaining three of them should patrol the surrounding area. Mikey and Raph were overjoyed for a time to go out and up. Don, on the other hand, knew what this meant.

Taking a deep breath, Don placed the screwdriver and broken toaster back on the kitchen table. Looking at the disemboweled toaster, Don could sympathize. The toasting machine was lying on the table like a dissected frog in a middle school science glass. It was showing, to everyone, what it was made off. Now, it was Don's turn.

"Alright, let's go." Don said, less-than-confidently. Raph snickered to himself on this. If anything, tonight would _be_ interesting.

It was interesting, but not in an awesome way. It was interesting, Mikey rationalized, as a car wreck. You don't want to openly admit you found something so sad so interesting.

First, they were just content to run and jump roof to roof. The air smelled of a mid-spring rain which was refreshing compared to the sewer air. Not much was happening; not even a purse snatcher. Nothing.

Then the all to cliché yell for HELP echoed through the peaceful night. Don hesitated because he hoped that by a rare strike of humanity that the world would remain crime free until Leo's return. Then maybe world peace for an added bonus, and Raph would purchase a tutu.

_Shudder_. Disturbing thought.

Okay, Don breathed, concentrate. He motioned for them to follow the scream. He had observed Leo's small leadership quarks. How hard could this be, right?

They followed to the scream's epicenter, and found a normal molesting situation. Mafia thugs were caging a business man who had a full briefcase as a weapon. Inside the well lit alley, the man was obviously scared.

Don bit his lip. It was a _too_ well lit. There was a bright light directly above the dead end the business man was backed into. The well dressed thugs were also armed with pistols and revolvers. Jumping down to the alley would only spook those trigger-happy suits, and that would result in a mess.

"Well, Fearless Junior?" Raph inquired steeping to the ledge of the roof they were position on. They had box seats to the alley, and now the Mafia members were closing in.

"Jimmy. Jimmy." A large Mafia leader steeped in front of the cowering cubby man. Pointing a rifle at poor Jimmy, the leader snickered. "You were in that police station way too long for just a license renewal. Jack said you were talking with Sheriff Kimball and you were sweating like a pig. Now…you know what happens to a squealing pig in the butcher shop?"

Jimmy was stammering, almost blubbering. "P-please, Hank! I wouldn't squeal on you guys! You've gotta believe me!"

"That's not what the latest news is." Hank grinned evilly; steeping two steeps toward him. The rifle barrel was pointed at Jimmy's overweighed belly. "How is your family, Jimmy? I've heard your daughter just turned sixteen. She's a real beauty, huh? Right now she's home alone. We have your home surrounded, and we can even tell you that she's not working on homework. It would be a shame to die that young."

Jimmy froze. His eyes widened, and Hank only laughed. Raph growled deeply and took out his sias. Still he turned to his young leader who stared and hesitated. Even Mickey had his hands on his nunchakus, but Don was still staring at those men's guns and the well lit area.

"Ani! Jikangire! (_Brother, we're running out of time!)" _Raph stepped further to the roof's edge. Irritation was clear in his eyes, and finally Don nodded.

"First we take out the light." Don whispered and pointed to the light.

Mikey asked, "With what?"

Raph growled, took out a shuriken. After Raph tossed it, the light cord was severed, and the light fixture crashed to the ground below. The glass shattered, and the alley was plunged into darkness. All the men resorted to the basic human reaction- panic.

"Now." Don whispered as they all jumped down to the alley.

Hank tried to get his muttering men together by barking orders in the dark. Then gunfire! Don saw the man who reacted to the panic by shooting off his revolver that was pointed right at Jimmy. The fat business man screamed before the bullet lodged into his forehead.

"Damn." Raph muttered, knocking out one of the members. Once one freaked out bad guy fired, two out of three chances were that they all would follow.

Soon the alley was alive with bullets. Hank was not happy. He cursed. He yelled, but the damage was already done. Jimmy was dead, and the police were coming.

Don growled as the police sirens blared closer and closer. He turned seeing Jimmy's bloody body slouched in the alley's dead end. His briefcase was just a few yards away.

Hank and his members jumped into the black cars and raced off before the feds arrived. Don turned to his brothers and motioned to the roof. Both followed him, but Mikey was obviously lagging behind. Looking at Mikey's leg, Don knew.

Mikey had been shot.

Like Leo would, Don helped his little brother up the roof where Raph waited. Soon the police were running into the alley with guns drawn. Soon they found Jimmy's body, and that night a young girl's father died.

Don couldn't think about that now. Mikey couldn't run on his leg anymore. Between Raph and Don, they got Mikey a good, safe distance away from the police and Jimmy. Nearby, they rested in an abandoned building with broken windows and graffiti for a paint job.

They found an empty room on the top floor of the three story building. It reeked of beer and illegal drugs. Thankfully, the owners of the drugs had vacated. Raph turned to the window to be the lookout while Don quickly bandaged Mikey's leg.

"Well done, Donatello." Raph curtly snarled, "Did you enjoy the show? Obviously Jimmy didn't."

Don didn't want to fight about this. Already his mind held the still image of Jimmy's dead body in his face. He could almost see Jimmy's poor daughter learning from an officer of her father's murder. Was she safe? Did she know Don watched her father die? Did she know that he could have saved him?

Raph could almost read Don's mind. "What about the daughter, Don? Because of your hesitation, she's fatherless. And, you just _had_ to get your own brother shot."

"Cut it out, Raph." Both Raph and Don blinked at Mikey who glared at Raph. "It was an accident, okay? Shit happ…" Mikey fell silent with a stifled scream. Don had just tied the tourniquet over tender flesh. At least it wasn't bleeding.

Don said nothing. Was this how Leo felt in the face of failure? This crushing responsibility accompanied with crushing guilt was enough to have Don crushing his fist into a wall. He couldn't just hide this under the term 'accident' or even 'shit' because someone died.

"Let's go home." Don said, his voice lost in the moment.

"Home?" Raph questioned, "What about the girl."

"Jimmy's dead." Don swallowed as he finished Mikey's bandage. "Mikey's hurt, and the police will tell her immediately. Hank was only threatening her life to scare Jimmy. Now she's nothing to the Mafia."

Failure was unspoken yet felt in each sentence. Don remembered a time when they were fifteen or so. They were following a car snatcher who was delivering a car to the Mafia on the other side of the city. It was a simple car theft, but the Mafia were not pleased in the car. They called it a shabby piece of crap and warned that the hired thief's family would be killed if this happened again. Leo lead the attack, and it happened almost the same way. The thief was shot by misfire. Raph was shot in the arm. They left the carnage battered and beaten, and it ate Leo alive for weeks.

_"Why do you practice so much, Leo?"_

_"Because I have to be perfect."_

_"Perfect? Why?"_

_"I'm the leader. I can't make a mistake."_

_"No one can be perfect."_

_"I have to, Donnie. I can't fail again."_

"Is this what me meant?" Don wondered to himself as they slowly walked home. Mikey was hoisted on Raph's shoulders, and Don lead the way home. "Is this what Leo meant. He can't make a mistake because if he does…" Looking back, Don saw Mikey smiling face and wink as he rubbed Raph's head like a Buddha belly. Don only smiled at this when Mikey was punched by Raph, and then he looked down at Mikey's bandaged leg.

"He can't make a mistake because if he does…"

* * *

_Fun times! Poor Don. Poor Mikey. Poor Leo. Think Raph will get off easy? Na-uh. So Don's my favotire, and I love Mikey. I hold respect for Leo. Sadly, me and Raph have the same personality. DAMN! LOL! Does that give me rights to make him the bad guy? You decide. LOL!_

_-Weezellee_


	5. I Hate That I Need You

_Whoa! Big chapter time! I'm writing this on a sick day btw. Honestly, I hate being sick!! Anyway, this chapter was kinda fun kinda sad. Also I should tell you that I am horrible at spelling, mechanics, punctuation, grammar. This is why I'm not going to be an English major. Psychology doesn't need a spellcheck. LOL! We just make things up and call it cognitive studies when it's BS! What I'm saying is that I'm only a good writer when it comes to plot lines and character development. If anyone wants to help me with the fffffffffun stuff like the above mentioned, then I'll appreciate it!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Disney movies, TMNT, or the invention of Cowabunga Carl. I'll leave that to Mikey!!_

* * *

Chapter V: I Hate That I Need You

"Every noble work is at first impossibe." -Thomas Carlyle

Leo returned to his cave bleeding.

One of the unethical soldiers had gotten lucky and nicked Leo's arm good with a sword. With a few minutes, Leo had the village clean of these gang members who dared call themselves protectors. They were manipulators who forced a payment for their services on the already destitute villagers.

It was sick. Those soldiers said they were there to protect and defend, but what they were doing was unethical brainwashing and manipulation. The soldiers were the villagers biggest threat. Those who refused to pay where dealt with in inhumane ways.

Leo had found his purpose to donate his lonely hours to. He would only return to his cave at late night, and most of his time was spent near or in the village. The villagers started calling their secret protector the Ghost of the Jungle. And, soldiers learned to fear that title.

He had hoped the soldiers would give up and leave the poor village alone. However; lately they had been attacking with greater numbers. Neighboring villagers had learned of the village under the protection of the Ghost of the Jungle, and they were arriving by the dozen. This only gave Leo more people to protect and a bigger target for soldiers.

It was turning into a job he couldn't handle alone. Leo sighed knowing that with his brothers it would be no problem. The four of them defended an entire USA city! But, Leo forced himself to stay in the jungle. He couldn't leave those villagers. He just couldn't.

Sitting near the cave's entrance, Leo listened to the restless jungle. Now he had time to think. Mostly his thoughts returned to New York, but tonight was special.

It was the three month anniversary that marked when Leo left home. April had left three weeks ago. Leo found the temple Splinter asked him to find two months ago, and he became the Ghost of the Jungle four months ago. A pretty busy three months, Leo commented to himself.

Was he over his homesickness? Well, he was avoiding that for the moment. Maybe he covered homesickness with purpose, but that didn't mean he never thought of home or family. One warm afternoon, he saw three, young brothers with dark hair, skin, and eyes chasing each other further into the jungle.

Leo had followed them for safety purposes. They ran around the tall trees and over the carpet of vegetation. Their laughers filled the jungle with fresh innocents, and Leo allowed that moment of nostalgia to pass his eyes. Then his eyes were full of tears, but the boys were back home safely in their mother's arms.

Leo sent a letter with April when she left three weeks ago. Last time Leo had heard from his family was Mikey's letter four weeks ago. He still had it. Tucked in his burlap cloak, Leo still had that letter. He read it almost every night. He even kept two more letters from Mickey, one from Don, and one from Splinter with him. The notebook papers were growing older and the edges were dirty and frayed. Still he kept them.

Now was the time to think about them. Leo started up his small campfire near the entrance, took out Mikey's letter, and sat on a rock near the small flames.

Mikey's handwriting was more ledge able than Raph's but not by much. Mikey went on and on about comic books, video games, training, and patrol missions. Half a dozen times Mikey's sentences would start with 'When you get back…' It was like Leo's little brother was planning out an entire week of things to do when Leo got back.

Leo wondered. When, Leo, are you going home? Always he would reread Mikey's letter, and stop at the last line for a few moments.

_We miss ya, bro! Come home soon!_

This is when Leo's heart was pulled homeward. Then he would return to the village, save a few innocent people, and hear them cheering for him. His heart would be firmly planted in the rich topsoil. Once he left, Leo feared the village would be overrun by murderous soldiers, and the three boys would wonder where their ghost had gone.

Leo's brothers would be okay if he stayed until the threat was over. They were all old enough to take care of themselves and each other. They were fine. No need to worry.

Still, Leo looked back to the letter. Leo did worry.

He hated that he needed his family so badly.

* * *

Stress had a funny way of warping sanity. You start believing that God has it in for you. He has you on his list, and he's having a ball of making your life a living hell. 

Don hadn't properly slept in days! Heck, maybe even weeks! There just wasn't enough time for sleep. Between leading/babysitting his brothers, updating security around the sewers, and Splinter's heath, Don's sanity was worn to a frayed knot.

Mikey was Don link to sanity. He was that rock climber's rope that held Don from toppling and falling to oblivion of his own stress. Mikey was the one who listened to Don's complaints. Mikey was the one who, many times, carried Don's sleeping body from his lab and into a comfy bed. Yep, Mikey was Don's rope.

If Mikey was rope, then Raph was a mad raven who pecked at Don's head. The raven was pecking and pecking at the rock climber's head. Raph was almost hourly demanding Don to steep up. Raph was the one laughing at Don's pitiful leading. Raph compared Don to Leo. Leo was scum, and Don was the crap underneath the scum. Crap was lower than scum.

"Okay." Don forcefully stopped his allegories of crap, ravens, and rock climbers. They were incoherent and lame anyway. He didn't even know what they meant.

Taking a deep breath, Don pressed the damp cloth against Splinter's fevered brow. Don's father sighed in relief. It was a small sign of hope, and Don smiled at this. Still his brainy brain wouldn't let that rest.

Splinter had a bad fever. He had been having these fevers more frequently. He had three fevers since Leo left. When Splinter was well, Don noticed his father favoring his walking stick more and more. He found Splinter staring into space and muttering in slurred Japanese. There were rare moments when Splinter would appear well and back to himself, but those moments were becoming rarer by the day.

"He need medicine." Don breathed. Medicine meant money. Money was just another stressor in Don's face. April and Casey just bought a new apartment, so they were in debt. They were already doing so much for Don's family already. There was no way Don would beg.

Employment for mutated turtles in New York did not exist. Already they were 'barrowing' electricity, water, and cable. Don was not going to steal money or medication. That was out of the question.

So, Don put another stressor in his life. A job. Risking family safety, Don opened his citizen phone line for I-tech support. He posted his services on multiple websites and web search engines. It took two hours before Don got his first call. The caller would pay via credit or debit card after Don's service was provided. It was risky to trust humans with this, but Don was desperate.

The money started tricking in. Don's first purchase was for half a dozen medications for Splinter. In his spare time, Don read book upon book on anatomy, aging, and medicine. Splinter's health improved gradually, and things began to look better.

Because of Don's chaotic schedule, patrols were done every other day or because of emergencies. Don couldn't dedicate his time to his new leadership job. Heck, he barely made it to training on time!

Raph was not happy with Don's lack of motivation toward the team. All Raph would talk about with Don were new leads on crime on the surface. Don would nod, uh-huh, and humm in response.

Then Raph started to compare Leo's skills as leader to Don's skills as leader (or lack thereof.) Raph insulted Don as a lazy turtle who'd rather talk to a toaster than a real person. Don was a weakling. Don lived in his lab and didn't give a shit about innocent people getting hurt. Don didn't give a shit about the team. Don didn't contribute. Don this. Don that.

What dug under Don's shell was when Raph would start a accusation with the infamous Leonardo. Leo would do this better. Leo would do that better. Leo this! LEO THAT! Don just wanted to scream!

Don growled. Truth was, Leo wasn't here. Leo had packed his bags and headed South for the winter. Letters from the great Leonardo were few and small. It infuriated Don that he couldn't write a long winded letter telling Leo how things were since he left.

What sucked the most was that it hurt Don how much he needed Leo.

He hated Leo.

He needed Leo.

He hated that he needed Leo.

Yep, life officially sucked. Don rechecked his mater's temperature. It was hovering above 100, but it had been higher just an hour ago. These fevers were chewing on Splinter's sanity like life was doing to Don's.

Covering Splinter with a warm blanket, Don left the damp cloth on Splinter's forehead. Don snuffed out most of the candles in Splinter's room. The aroma of wax and ink wells still lingered. Don turned once to see Splinter sleeping for once.

Don hadn't told Splinter how much life was crushing around him. He hadn't told his father how many nights he screamed in his head or pounded a fist into a wall. It was getting too much for one turtle to take, and Don was loosing the battle.

Walking out of the room, Don was greeted by his older brother. Raph's arms were folded against his chest, his eyes narrowed. Don knew where this conversation would go, and Don desperately needed sleep. There was no more win-win in Don's life.

"How is he?" Raph asked with genuine concern.

Don blinked, "Uh…Okay, I guess. He's fever hasn't broken yet, but it's on the decline. He'll be fine in the mourning, but I don't think there'll be practice."

"Good." Raph smiled. Don wanted to scream. Did Raph just say it was good that Splinter had a fever or that there would be no training or WHAT?! "Tomorrow we can start on that Mafia case we talked about."

Don sighed, "Raph, I've got to work tomorrow. Can't we do it tomorrow night?"

"It'll be too late, Don." Raph frowned, "That illegal shipment is going out by noon. We'll be back before five, at the least."

"Wasn't it you the one who said we'd be out of the Shredder's tower by five when we were there for three days?" Don demanded. Okay, so that wasn't the best reaction for a hothead. Don was so darn tired. He needed two Advil tablets before going unconscious for an hour or two.

Raph growled, "The shipment is poisonous gas they're giving to Cuba for concentration camps."

"How do you know this?"

"It's the word on the street." Raph said, "So, we going or not?"

Don sighed, "Raph, our father is sick. I can't leave him until he's walking on his own."

"I'm guessing that's a no from the general?" Raph gritted his teeth. Great, Don breathed, Raph doesn't like being told no.

"There will still be crime next week, Raph. It's not like the Mafia's going anywhere."

Raph rolled his eyes, "And you call my ethics warped! Look, Don, how can I spell this out for you more? Poisonous gas. Concentration camps. Illegal shipment. Innocent people are going to die!"

"They'll just get the shipment from somewhere else." Don logically said, "It's not like there are more countries' black-markets itching for a million dollar deal from Cuba."

"Yeah, but this is our country's black-market, moron." Raph spat, "You can't turn a blind eye to this, ya know? This shipment is happening in your back yard, and ya don't wanna do anything about it?"

Don started growling back, "Not when my own father needs me, okay? Not when I'm needed more at home! Where are your priorities, Raph? All you do is go on patrol, train, and drink with Casey!"

That was stupid. Don realized this after he was tossed to the wall. Raph stood over Don, and did Raph look pissed. This was happening more times than not. Don was physically the weaker turtle, and Raph was the strongest. The fight would end within five minutes.

"Hey, dudes! What up?"

Mikey! Don released a grateful sigh. It wasn't like he was scared that Raph would kill him or anything. Don was just…cautious.

Mikey's blue eyes held some worry, but he was still grinning. "Hey, Raph. Case is on the phone."

Raph said nothing but a dark leer stabbed Don in the chest. Raph relaxed and started walking out of the room after stealing a few potato chips from the bag in Mikey's hand. Mikey and Don waited until Raph was chatting like old college roommates with Casey.

"Taking a nap on the floor, dude?" Mikey asked in his good natured way. Walking over, Mikey held a hand down to Don who took it gratefully.

"I'm going with Case tonight." Raph said as if he really cared if his brothers knew or not.

Mikey mockingly called back, "Be back by ten, Raphael. And clean you room and do your homework or no desert pizza."

Raph slammed the door behind him.

Don was on his feet, and Mikey offered the bag to his bro. Don took one chip and leaned against the wall.

"So, how was work?" Mikey asked.

Don sighed, "Business as usual. You?"

"That's the joy of unemployment, dude. I can't answer that question." Mikey smiled, "You know, you should join us. Unemployment benefits are too sweet."

"Can't." Don chewed on the chip, "Money keeps the family happy."

"Forgive me, dude, but you couldn't pay Raph enough to change his disposition."

Don chuckled, "Right." Then he yawned.

"Uh-huh." Mikey's worried eyes looked to the ground, "So, no patrol tonight?"

"Obviously." Don said.

Mikey smiled, and pulled on Don's arm. "Awesome! I have something to show you that you are going to love me for! Seriously, I'll deserve twenty bro hugs after this!"

Don smiled a little and was pulled quickly into Mikey's room. Mikey stopped at his closed door, and turned to Don.

"But first you have to close your eyes. It's a surprise."

Don laughed, "Mikey, you've been watching too many Disney movies."

"At least I'm not watching Raph's gore flicks, huh?" Mikey ginned, "Now close your peepers and don't open them until I say so."

Don rolled his eyes, but obeyed. Mikey giggled as he rushed into his room. There was a lot of clattering going on inside. Don even heard Mikey cursing about a stupid heavy mask.

"Okay, dude! Open your eyes and be amazed!"

Don opened them up, and jumped back in shock.

"What the shell?" Don blinked.

Mikey stood there wearing a large helmet, mask of a cartoon-ish turtle with big blue eyes and a goofy grin. The head was at least three times bigger than Mickey's original cranium. This made Don laugh. Once Don was laughing he couldn't stop. His sides started to ach, and he fell to the floor in a fit of breathless chuckles.

"Sweet!" Mickey laughed too. "That's the exact reaction I was going for!"

Don couldn't breath, but he managed words between explosions of laughter. "What….the hell…are you wearing?!"

"Like it?" Mikey popped the mask over his head, and carried it under his arm. "I called it Carl. Cowabunga Carl is his full name. He's the answer to our financial prayers, Donnie-boy!"

Now Don was standing and had composure over himself. He asked, "Financial prayers?"

"Dude!" Mikey jumped with excitement. "You know how much kids rock? And you know how much spare time I have? And you obviously know about my wit and charm!!" Mikey smiled, "I've already had it all planned last night. I'll wear this bulky mask and become Carl in the day and entertain at children's parties! I'll need to repaint the van, and we'll need a few flayers…" Mikey frowned seeing Don's smile gone. Don looked sternly at 'Carl's face.'

"Okay, what is it now?" Mikey asked seriously. "You're going into that big brother Donatello this-isn't-a-good-plan stage, dude."

Don sighed, "I think it's a great plan, Mikey." Don tried to smile, "But…"

"it's too dangerous." Don and Mikey said together. Mikey rolled his eyes, "Dude, when have we've ever walked on the sidewalk of life? This jig is fool proof! Trust me, I'm the fool who came up with it." Mikey blinked his eyes bigger. His bottom lip stuck out like a pouting baby, and he tilted his head under Don's. _Oh no_, Don sighed, _not the Mikey face_. It's deadly effects are known thought the galaxy.

"Preddy plweeze, Donnie!" Mikey's eyes grew larger and bluer. "You the bestest brother in the whole wide woooooooorld."

Don folded his arms, "Mike, that face stopped working when you turned eighteen."

This did not deter the 'Mikey Face.' If anything, Don felt his own defenses crumbling under it's magic.

Don sighed. Mikey won. "Okay. Okay."

Don smiled seeing Mikey doing his famous happy dance with the huge mask.

"On one condition." Don warned, and Mikey's smile faded softly.

"Name it, bro."

Don smiled, "Don't kill yourself over it, okay?"

"Look who's talking." Mikey jabbed. Don frowned, and Mikey said, "Honestly, Don. You're working yourself crazy over things nowadays. I know you don't sleep much."

"I sleep enough." Don defensively said.

"Enough to keep you alive maybe, but not healthy." Mikey put his mask back on his bed. He then put a hand on Don's shoulder. "I saw and heard your talk with Raph, okay? So why don't you put your cards on the table and tell Splinter things are getting a little too much, huh?"

Don sighed, "You know why I can't, Mikey."

"No" Mikey frowned, "I don't. I know you want to prove to him that you're an awesome leader and stuff. But you're not just the leader now. You're Super Don! You're housekeeper, Splinter's nurse, Raph's punching bag, my psychologist, and now the team's leader? Dude, you may be Super Don, but your not God."

Reaching up, Don clasped Mikey's wrist. "Thanks, Mikey. If you weren't here I'd go insane." Mikey looked at Don as if all he said was shrugged of.

Mikey shrugged it off, and returned to the old baby bro. "No prob, bro. Now that we're both employed we seriously need more coffee breaks. I knooow how much Donnie boy loves the stuff. So I influenced April to buy us some of that Europe stuff you love sooo much."

"It's not our birthday, Mike." Don said as they walked down the hall. "So, what's all the nice treatment for?"

"Dude, you're my brother. Do I need a reason?" Mikey jumped to his DVD collection. "Now, how about a late night Disney movie?"

* * *

Raph didn't go to Casey's that night. Instead he stood on the roof to watch the planes landing at the airport. There was that small whole in his heart that wouldn't leave. He had just pushed Don, didn't he? His heart twisted at that realization.

He hadn't writen to Leo since they parted ways. Raph didn't want to write Leo. He wanted to scream at Leo for leaving them. He wanted to crawl on his knees and beg Leo to come home. He wanted to punch him, yell at him, hug him, cry. In truth, Raph knew home was falling apart becasue Leo wasn't there. How many times did Raph want Leo just to leave him the hell alone. Now Leo was gone, and life was hell.

Raph hated that he needed Leo.

* * *

_Does Mikey rock or what?! I love that turtle dude! While everything is hell at home, he manages to keep up a smile. Too bad he has that title 'baby brother' for life! Anway, thanks for reading, and thank you for the reviews and compliments!! You guys ROCK!!_

_-Weezellee_


	6. Wounded

_Hi, ya'll! What up? Thicker Thank Water is about done, so I'll start working on Shades of Green again! Good times. Good times. Anyway, thanks for reading and all the comments. You guys rock!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own squat!!_

* * *

Chapter VI: Wounded

"Life is just one damned thing after another." -Elbert Hubbard

Raph went alone on the mission.

So, it wasn't the smartest choice, but he couldn't just sit there like some people and ignore the world. A shipment of poison being illegally shipped to Cuba for heaven knew what reason. Raph had to stop this anyway possible even if that meant alone.

Honestly, Raph didn't want to go alone. Raph didn't want to shove Don away, but that happened. No matter how hard his conscience hammered his heart, Raph had to shrug it off. For the sake of the mission.

_"You just hit Don!" _Raph's heart screamed, _"Don't you feel…anything about that?!"_

_"He had it coming." _Raph's mind rationalized. _"He gave up on helping innocent people. Crime is on the rise. Innocent people are getting hurt."_

_"Innocent people, huh? Like your little brother."_

Raph growled. Damn guilt. Damn anger. Guilt happened after anger. Raph knew he had a temperamental issue, but Raph was an act now think later type of turtle. His anger saw the makeshift leader of their team acting uninterested in the illegal shipment. His anger saw a lot of things now a days.

In Raph's eyes, Don being a leader was a joke. Don didn't lead well or at all in that case. Don put the breaks on patrols and crime fighting. They hadn't jumped a gang fight in three weeks! The local news grew more and more depressing, and Don seemed to have an apathy towards it!

They use to be something. They use to be a team that put fear into those scum bags. The use to be one, united team instead of four separate individuals. Their ideals use to be unified and the causes were inseparable. One time Raph could have walked into his home and felt a welcoming, home atmosphere. Now, home was a stranger's sewer full of familiar faces that did not act like his brothers. They didn't care. Don didn't care that their unity was breaking up.

_"Ain't you being hard on the guy? He didn't want this."_

Stupid heart. Don could just stay in his lab and pretend the real world didn't exist, but Raph couldn't. When Raph saw corruption and crime, he couldn't just accept it or turn a blind eye. He had to do something even if he did it alone.

Riding the shell cycle, Raph found himself at the docks. The silent night stretched over the city and harbor like a black sheet. The air was pungent with fish and wood. Ships docked looked hauntingly dark without any lights on. The city twinkled across the water, and Raph sat there, on his bike, and stared at the city he felt obligated to protect.

Suddenly, one of those dark boats moved on the water. Raph turned off his cycle's engine to listen closely. The crate ship was definitely operational. Shady characters were walking up to the ship.

Then Raph saw it. It was a drivable dolly moving slowly to the ship just a few feet from Raph. Squinting his eyes, Raph saw the dolly moving under a street lamp's rays. Printed in black on the wooden crate was the words: Zyklon B.

* * *

Don had worked for way to long even coffee wasn't working. It was official. Humans were idiots. Not every human, but a select few that called Don's I-tech service. Did Don write on his website: ALL IDIOTS WELCOME! If he had to hear about some WWII veteran who thought magnates looked pretty on a hard drive one more time, Don was going go kamikaze on his computer. 

Break time. Don decided four Tylenol pills and another cup of dark coffee would make a good late night snack. Walking into the living area, Don saw Mikey passed out on the sofa again. It was the third time that week Mikey crashed there, but noticing how exhausted Mikey was after a jig, Don didn't have the heart to wake him.

Stretching, Don tried to get all the kinks from his neck. Seven hours of back to back calls wore him down to a frazzle. Don yawned and decided now was a good time to clock out.

Something was wrong. It hit like a cramp in his chest. Don listened quietly for a minute to concentrate on what was so eerie. Walking to his father's room, Don stopped short hearing his father walking in the kitchen. Splinter poured himself a third cup, and looked at his intelligent son.

"Donatello." Splinter smiled. "Thank you for your vigilant care. I am feeling much better."

Don smiled, "That's good to hear, Master. You're fever is gone."

Nodding, Splinter motioned to the seat next to him. Don sat down and welcomed the chance to speak to an intelligent life form. Splinter lightly sniffed the air. "Have you noticed something odd in the air?"

Don blinked. "Now that you mention it, there is something…different."

"Raphael hasn't returned from the Jones' residence." Splinter sipped at his tea. "His motorcycle is absent as well. I have called Mr. Jones, and he has informed me that he hasn't seen Raphael all day."

Don frowned, and his mind instantly went back to the previous conversation with Raph. "He wouldn't." Don rationalized. "Raph is rash, but he wouldn't go on a dangerous mission by himself…would he?"

"Is there something wrong, my son?" Splinter asked which jarred Don from his own thoughts.

Don tried to smile it off. "Yes, master. I'll wake Mikey up, and we'll go looking for him. There's a tracker on the shell cycle and his shell cell. It won't take too long."

Splinter nodded, and Don stood, bowed, and ran to the sofa.

* * *

Where had Raph heard of Zyklon B before? Don was watching a History Channel documentary on the Holocaust. What they were saying wasn't too pleasant, and it had something to do with Zyklon B. 

_"Zyklon B was the main tradename of a cyanide-based insecticide notorious for its use by Nazi Germany to kill over one million people in the gas chambers of Auschwitz and Majdanek during the Holocaust."_

Bingo. Raph left his bike behind, and walked in the shadows of the surrounding buildings. Give the information channels a standing ovation, and Mikey called the boring with a capital B.

He had to act fast. Obviously the had two more boxes waiting on the dock. The men were obviously Mafia thugs in their overpriced suits. Even their custom-made, fleet of cars were parked near the fish market down the street a bit. This had to be it.

Raph took out his sias as he scanned the environment and thugs. 12 against one. Raph had dealt with worse odd before, but each idiot had a loaded gun. Raph hated guns. Where was in honor in those things? It didn't matter if you were a judo master, everyone can die just as easily from a bullet.

Now is when Raph really hated being alone.

* * *

Leo killed him quickly. Once slice across the neck vain, and the man shriveled and died. It was easily, but something about how his victims screamed before dying still felt like swallowing vinegar. 

The village was burning. Thatch work huts burned quickly despite the wet season, and soon the area was covered in thick smoke. Women, children, and men screamed from all directions while soldiers took what they could between killings. The whole village was being pillaged, and bodies on innocent victims littered the moist soil.

This pushed Leo to go on a killing spree of his own. Soldier fell like sacks of meat at Leo's katanas. Confusion soon turned into utter chaos, and the villagers ran to the village church. The tall steeple with the large crucifix on top must have lured the populous. The fled to Christ for safety, but it only created a gathering for a concentrated slaughter.

Jumping in front of the adobe building, Leo stood front of the doors with swords drawn. Only villagers would pass him. Leo was still dressed in his brown habit that covered his face well. Still many villagers recognized him, and they began cheering.

"It's the Ghost of the Jungle!"

"He has come to save us!"

"Please, save us!"

"Thank God, we are saved!"

Leo yelled back to them, "Everyone, to the church! Barricade the door behind you!" He turned to see a legion of armed soldiers marching toward him. Their guns were pointed directly at the Ghost of the Jungle.

* * *

Raph counted to himself before jumping into attack mode. The element of shock belonged to Raph's battle cry and swish of weapons. Easily six fell dead before the others could blink. Once they did blink, their guns went off in all directions. Panic freaks! Raph growled tossing his sias into a few more chest. 

There was no time to actually stop the shipment. Raph's plan was to make enough chaos to call on the authorities in ear shot. Then Raph would leave a victor.

Easier said than done.

Raph cursed loudly as a stray bullet landed in his wrist. His sia dropped instantly as pain consumed the arm. There was no time to cry, Raph pushed himself to summersault and end the life of the fool who dared shot Raphael.

Now there were only three left, but no police. Raph's sias were dripping with blood and puddles surrounded the dead bodies. It was a mess. Splinter would never approve of such a massacre, but Raph's options were small.

"Someone KILL HIM!"

That's when Raph's shoulder exploded in pain, and whiteness covered his vision. The white pain was soon followed by darkness.

* * *

"Leave this village!" Leo demanded to the overwhelming odds. He pointed his bloody sword toward them as a threat and scare tactic. Neither worked. 

Damn, Leo swore. There were way too many, too many guns, too many ways for Leo to die. That's when Leo took a breath. He was going to die? Here? In the damp jungles of the Amazon? Half a world away from home and family?

His family wouldn't know he had died until…

"No!" Leo growled, "I won't die. I can't! I CAN'T FAIL!"

* * *

Raph screamed in pain. He had been hit. He had been hit bad, but he wasn't dead yet. Fumbling for footing, Raph stood and killed the remaining three in two swipes of sias. Blood flipped like a ribbon when a sia was stabbed into a gut. Raph was completely covered in blood. Some of it was theirs and some was his own. 

He was in pain. His shoulder was on fire along with his wrist, and he knelt in a puddle of blood for a breather.

It would be so easily, Raph thought dimly. It would be so easy just to fall over and let it all end. To die would mean an end to the splitting pain- both physical and emotional.

"Why?" Raph breathed, "Why can't things just stay the same? Why did he have to leave?"

"I've been asking myself the same questions."

Raph looked up to where the voice came from. There was Don and Mikey standing over him, and Raph never felt so grateful. Looking through the blur of pain, Raph did see a dark look in Don's eyes.

Don knelt, and hissed. "Damn. You're lucky, Raph. If that bullet was two inches lower you would have a whole in your lung. Your wrist…you won't be using your right hand for at least three weeks."

"Don…I…" Raph slurred. It was so hard to keep consciousness. Mikey knelt silently by Raph while Don began working.

Don scoffed, "Let's just get you cleaned up."

* * *

The shooting began. Leo deflected the bullets like he was trained to do, but there were so many of them! Gunfire and bullets pelted the soil around his feet as he ran forward. Behind him he could still hear the yells of the villagers, but he wasn't sure what they were saying. Leo lost himself in the sound of battle. He became one with his twin swords. 

Then the soldiers began falling before he got to them. Bullets were coming from the church! Leo didn't trust himself to turn to see the villagers firing back at the soldiers from half a dozen church windows. He thanked the gods for this advantage. Now he wouldn't have to die.

Soon the battle was over, and cheering erupted from the church. Leo turned and smiled. Villagers with old rifles and pistols shouted to him from the windows. It was a relief to know the village wasn't completely defenseless.

Brave villagers ran out of the church. Bullet marks spotted the church's walls, and slain soldiers littered the church steeps. Soon Leo was surrounded by adoring fans and women. Leo was shocked by being well accepted as well as honored! There was no fear in those villagers of Leo's appearance. There was just people thanking their hero.

The celebration was short lived however. Their village was in ashes. Friends and family were numbered among the dead. Taking this as a que to exit, Leo turned and walked back into the jungle.

* * *

Mikey watched over Raph for a while until his vitals stabilized. Don went to Splinter's room to tell a lie. If Splinter knew Raph went on a dangerous mission and had lied about not going and got shot on said mission, things would go from bad to worse. 

Glaring at Raph, Mikey sighed. "Good going, Raph." Mike had tried to calm down. Don tied Raph to the shell cycle behind Mikey, and Don ordered Mike to take Raph home. "Don't tell Splinter, Mikey." Don warned.

Now they were home- safe and sound. Still Mikey's gut twisted knowing that Raph willingly left them to go alone. Now Raph was hurt, but in Mikey's opinion, he deserved it.

Okay, that was harsh coming from Mikey. He knew this. But, damn it, Raph had been a black cloud ever since Leo left. The constant arguing between Don and Raph was elevating. Raph hardly spoke to Mikey; maybe once or twice a day. Don was being crushed under the world, and Raph was only making things worse.

"Now's not the time to play the blame game." Mikey sighed as he placed a hand over his tired eyes. "Who knows. This could be the bad news that turns the awareness button on."

Raph groaned into consciousness. If Mikey wasn't so tried he would make a joke about Sleeping Beauty or something. Blinking a few times, Raph turned his head toward his little brother.

"Nice to see someone's getting sleep tonight." Mikey smiled. That sounded a little mean, but thankfully it slipped under that Raph radar.

Raph moaned, "What time is it?"

Looking down at his watch-less wrist, Mikey smiled. "Half past a hair." Raph moaned again which said the joke was not funny, so Mikey replied. "Sometime after four. Don's talking with Splinter, but don't worry, Mr. Lonely, we're keeping the lid on this, right?"

Raph blinked his eyes fully opened, and just stared at the ceiling. "Right" he breathed. "I messed up again, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did." Mikey agreed. Give him a point for being the only honest turtle in the bunch. Sighing, Mike asked, "Hell, Raph. Why did you go alone?"

Raph breathed, "It had to be done. I couldn't just sit there while innocent people get hurt."

"You lied to us, you know."

Raph closed his eyes, took a breath, and said. "I know…Sorry."

Mikey sighed. Well that sounded convincing. How Raph said sorry was like if he steeped on someone's foot. Maybe that was just Raph being tired. Don did give him a heavy dosage of meds. Mikey sighed again. He was just tired and didn't think clearly without his beauty sleep.

"Then mean it." Mikey growled.

Raph raised an eyes brow, "What?"

"Mean that your sorry." Mikey looked dead into Raph's eyes.

* * *

"I'm old not blind." Splinter spaced before his son. "You're brother never went to Mr. Jones' home. Tell me where you found him, Donatello. I want the truth this time." 

Don's hands were clammy. Splinter had that effect on him. It was like Don's skin was translucent, and Splinter could see everything. Telling half-truths and lies worked only so far.

Don took a deep breath. "Master, he just got caught in a Purple Dragon fight. That's all."

"Did he find this fight before becoming caught?"

"Raph didn't go on patrol alone, Master." Don firmly said, but didn't look Splinter in the eye.

Splinter sighed, "Donatello. I commend you for protecting your brother, but as a leader you should tell the truth."

_I'm not a leader! _Don wanted to scream for the millionth time in his mind.

"I will speak to your brother." Splinter was walking for the door. "Follow." Don stood up and followed his master. This was a beauty of a night, Don murmured to himself. The weight on his shoulders just tripled and his heart was exploding from the crushing guilt.

I should have tied Raph to a chair. I should have ordered him to stay, to work, or to understand. I shouldn't have taken the position as leader. I knew it was too much. I knew this would happen! Now…it's all my fault.

"THEN STOP ACTING LIKE AN ASS!"

Before they reached the door, Mikey was already storming off in the other direction. Splinter turned as his youngest son slammed his bedroom door behind him. Raph was standing at his own doorway with a angered and shocked expression. It looked like he was about to yell something back at Mikey but seeing Master Splinter he stopped.

Splinter's eyes instantly went to the bandages on Raph, and he frowned.

Don swore under his breath. The bullet wounds had just reopened and blood was seeping through. Obviously they were bullet wounds. Obviously Splinter knew they were so.

" Michelangelo!" Splinter shouted, and Mikey came running. Tears were in the baby brother's his eyes already. All three turtles stood as their master glared at all.

"I am deeply ashamed of all of you." Splinter said firmly. "I am even more ashamed of Donatello." Don flinched, and he bowed his head in submission and guilt. Splinter turned to him. "You were to lead you brothers, and because of your actions your brother has been injured. There are no excuses when you are the leader, my student. This team has suffered greatly, and I have no choice but to disband this team. You cannot fight as ninja until you learn to live as a family. That means united in cause and heart."

Splinter started walking down the stairs. "You are now forbidden to go on patrol or missions. You surface visits are limited to necessary visits. We will still have our training sessions every mourning. Raphael will miss one week. The team will be reunified only when all members are present, and the true leader returns. Am I understood?"

"Yes, sensei." Mikey and Raph answered.

"Donatello?" Splinter turned.

Don swallowed, and answered in a whisper. "Yes…sensei."

"Good. Now. Bed."

Splinter left, and Don counted the footsteps. The door slid closed. Don turned, said nothing, and entered his lab.

He cried himself to sleep that night.

* * *

_Yep, people are going to kill me!! Yipppeeeee! Please don't be to hard on Splinter or the rest. They're just...confused and sad. Tomarrow is my B-day, so leave presents for the hungry reader!! You guys are awesome!!_

_-Weezellee_


	7. Letters

_My goodness, you guys rock! Seriously, all the reviews and stuff! You guys are awesome, and thanks for reading. Anway, this is the last chapter of Thicker Than Water. If it feels open-ended, that's what I needed. I'll start Shades of Green soon! You think I'm done with ripping their hearts out? Nope! Okay, that sounded creepy!! LOL. Anway, thanks for reading, and enjoy._

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

* * *

Chapter IIV: Letters

Don sat at the kitchen table. Before him was a blank sheet of notebook paper. He tapped his pen against the table. The purpose of the paper and pen was a letter to Leo. Sitting there for about five minutes, Don couldn't begin the letter. His mind was a fuzzy blur, and his heart was a lump of stone in his chest.

Why was he doing this? He had asked that question half a million times. Still the answerer was a whispered, "I don't know."

He should be mad at Leo. Mad at him for leaving. Mad at him for being better. But, Don just couldn't be mad at anyone but himself. He didn't reserve any anger; not even for Raph.

The South sewer door opened, and Mikey walked in from work. There was no smile on his face; no cheery disposition. There was no, "Donnie, I'm home!" He just walked in, saw Donnie, and sighed. Don didn't look up to greet him. He just sat there staring at the blank paper.

"Hey" Mikey tried to smile. Why did it feel like someone just died?

Don sighed, "Hey."

Sitting down across from Don, Mikey looked down at the paper. A few months ago Mikey would have made jokes about that paper. Mikey's jokes were like the blank paper now. They just didn't exist, and Mikey wondered if he'd ever joke again.

"Hey, Don, about last night I…"

Don interrupted sadly, "It's fine, Mike."

"No, it's not." Mike felt his heart wrench with an unknown emotion that was either anger or sadness. Either way, it hurt. "Raph got under my skin, and I blew up. I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault." Don answered in a low tone. "It wasn't Raph's either."

Mikey clenched his teeth when he realized. Don blamed himself for everything just like Splinter blamed Don. Mike hadn't seen the rat since last night when Don slammed the door, and Splinter broke his own son's heart. Was Splinter so blind as not to see what Don _had_ done?! It made Mikey so angry that…

"It's not Splinter's fault either, Michelangelo." Don glared at Mikey. There was no real anger in that glare. It was just Don being selfish and keeping all the blame for himself.

"It's not your fault either, Donatello." Mikey said in complete seriousness. Don's glare turned inward. "It's _not_!" Mikey felt like he was yelling to a wall. "Let me guess. You're" he pointed to the blank paper, "writing a letter to Leo, right? Telling how you mess up at his job?" Mikey stood up as his anger returned, but where was the anger going. "The same job you never wanted? The same job Splinter forced on you? My God, Donnie! It's not your _damn_ fault!"

Don dropped the pen as one hand went to hide his eyes, but he didn't cry. He did enough crying last night, and damn it all if he was going to breakdown now. Everything that Mikey said was full of truths and lies. Don never wanted the job, but Splinter didn't force it on him. Don was just too scared to stand up and say no to Splinter, to Raph, to himself.

It was his fault.

Strong arms wrapped around him as he was pulled against Mikey's chest. Don let one tear slipped. Mikey smelled like birthday cake and the Carl mask he wore, and he was hugging tightly. Don leaned his head against Mike's neck and dropped the pen to the table. A whole emotional conversation passed between them without a word.

Mikey kissed Don on the forehead. His eyes were glazing with tears. Why was life like hell sometimes? Looking to the stairs for no reason, Mikey caught his older brother standing at the top. The emotion in Raph's eyes was remorse.

Sometimes it took a tragedy to press the awareness button.

Taking his que, Mikey stood, and let his hand linger on Don's shell. Don looked up to see Raph walking down the stairs. Saying nothing, Mikey walked toward the stairs and exchanged small smiles with Raph. Mike even placed his hand on Raph's injured shoulder before walking up the stairs. They would have their Hallmark moment later- if ever.

Raph turned to Don who couldn't look him in the eye. Two tears slipped, and Don's dam was breaking again. There were already a few wet splotches on the blank paper, and Raph walked slowly to the kitchen table.

Regaining composure was not an option, Don rationalized. Talking wasn't an option either, especially when Raph knelt and gave him a one-armed hug. Being aware of the wound, Don only leaned into his plastron. A callused hand gently rubbed Don's tears that, damn it, wouldn't stop.

"I-I'm so sorry." Raph whispered, "I'm so sorry, Donnie."

This time, Raph meant it.

* * *

_Leo,_

_Hi, brother. How are you? Enjoying the jungle? Found what your been taking your sweet time in finding? Found the Fountain of Youth?_

_I can't lie, Leo. Things have been crazy like hell without you. Happy now? Splinter disbanded the team last night. Raph lied to us and got shot. Don was put in your shell, and Splinter blamed him for Raph's injury. Raph has apologized to Don, and everything is looking better._

_Me? I'm pissed, Leo. Don blames himself for everything. I wouldn't be surprised if he still blames himself for you leaving. I and Don have jobs now because Splinter needs medication, and maybe things will change with Raph. We both know the chances of that, right? _

_I yelled at him last night. Called Raph every name I could think of. I slammed the door in his face, and Splinter was right there with Don. Two minutes later; the team was officially disbanded. Funny, I think the team's dismantle date was three weeks ago._

_I don't know if I really want you home now, Leo. Obviously you're debating the same thing. You promised you'd write. Officially we haven't heard from you in 14 days, 3 hours, and 16 minutes. For all we know, you're dead._

_We're doing this brother thing without you, Leo. I bet that doesn't make you happy. I bet you wanted us to fall apart without you. It would give your ego one hell of a booster shot, huh? We're coming back together, and we'll be strong because of this. And we're doing this without you._

_It would be a lie to say I don't miss you or that I do miss you. I just hope you can sleep at night. You know, you don't have to obey father all the time._

_Anyway, take care._

_Mikey_

Mikey closed his leather journal. The letter was officially page 23 in a journal he started writing in three months ago. The first page tells about Don getting shot and Leo leaving. The pages between were about the rollercoaster that life turned into, and somehow having today's page in the form of a letter to Leo held significant irony.

Tossing it to the wall, Mikey watched it fall on a pile of comics he hadn't read in months. _More irony_, Mikey emotionlessly commented. Maybe some year Mikey would reveal his journal to Leo or Raph or even Don. Never Splinter though, Mikey vowed. Too many angry words. Too many.

Mikey reclined on his bed to stare at the ceiling. Hands behind his head, he tried to meditate on something less depressing. Memories opened up before his vision of him and his brothers being who they were meant to be. Don the smart scientist. Raph the hothead buddy. Leo the fearless leader. Mikey the comic genius. They were pieces of the same puzzle. Now roles were being changed, but the puzzle was the same.

Why did Splinter have to order the pieces to change. Did he expect the same result that twenty years held? Mikey never questioned Splinter's judgment before. There was no reason to. Still, Mikey didn't….blame Splinter. How could anyone see this coming?

Mikey yawned and smiled. Things were looking better though. Who knew, maybe this would all be for the best. He still ached for what the puzzle use to be.

It would be a lie to say that Mikey didn't miss Leo.

It would be the truth to say that he did miss him.

* * *

Leo held his breath as the phone began to ring on the other side. He smiled at the small Mexican family that allowed him to use their phone to make a long distance call to New York. It had been so long since he'd heard a familiar voice.

Three rings, and Don answered.

"Cowabunga Carl party service. Cowabunga, dude."

Leo blinked, and called, "Don?"

"Leo! Is that really you?!"

"Yeah!" Leo couldn't stop smiling. "A local family was nice enough to let me use their phone. What's with the Cowabunga greeting?"

"Long story, Leo."

Leo grimiest, "I don't have much time. This is a very expensive call."

"I can bet. Man, it's good to hear from you."

Leo caught the emotion in his voice, "Donnie, is everything okay?"

"We're fine, Leo." Don was lying, and Leo knew this. There wasn't time to dig to get the truth, so Leo let it slide. "Sorry to say, but I'm the only one home right now. Mikey and Raph are topside, and Splinter has gone somewhere."

Leo sighed but smiled, "It's fine. Sorry I haven't written in a while."

"Same here, bro." Don smiled. "So, how's the jungle?"

"Good. Very wet. I'll tell you more in a letter. They actually have postal service this far, but it's going to be pretty slow." Leo answered looking around the impoverished hut. The family was being so good in allowing a stranger to make a long distance call. He had to make this short.

"I understand. Anyway, it's good to hear your voice Leo."

"You too, Don. Take care, okay?"

"Yeah." Don blinked back the tears, and Leo heard them.

"Don? Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just miss you is all." Don rubbed the tears away.

"I'll be home as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks."

"I love you, Don. Take care of the others for me."

"I…" Don was just about to let his emotions go over reason. But, in the end reason won. "I will. I love you too, Leo."

"Got to go! I'll write soon."

"Okay" Don didn't want to say what he had to say. "Bye, Leo."

"Bye, Don."

Click. Leo hung up, and Don spoke to the dial tone. "I'm sorry."

_Blood is thicker than water._

* * *

_That was...good? Lame? Please tell me! LOL! It's my Birthday today! October 15!! I'm so happy because mom bought me a Leo figure. She read a little of my fic and complimented on it. Awwwww. LOL! Anway, thanks for reading guys! Part II Shades of Green!! Starting soon! Love ya!_

_-Weezellee_


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